User blog:Cinnabar The Evil Gem Chemist 55555555555555555550/Candy Crush Tale - Sucked In

My life is a true horror story. A story of delusion and pain. It did not start on a cold and stormy night, but on a bright summer day. I have only myself to blame. Myself and Steven, who is now my mortal enemy for life. He destroyed my life. It was fine until he showed up. Now I am lost and screaming for help, thanks to him. What did he do to destroy my life? Did he kill my family? Burn down my house? Grief me on Minecraft?

No. He sent me a Candy Crush request.

I was extremely bored, so I decided to check this game out. "What a terrible game," I first thought. Why was Steven playing this? I beat Level 1 in seconds. Levels 2 and 3 likewise. Steven was wasting his life on this crappy game. I thought there were only twenty levels. I had already beaten level ten without losing a life. I was already more than half-way there! Right?

Then I accidentally hit the friend map and realised he was on Level 419. Scrolling to the top of the board, I was shocked to realise there were over 900 levels ahead of me!

I lost my mind. I played Candy Crush for up to 16 hours a day. My life became candy crush. The 10,000,000 colours the standard human eye sees was reduced to 6 - red, orange, yellow, blue, green and purple. Chocolate became my worst enemy.

I spent over 5000 hours on Candy Crush before I started to notice patterns everywhere. I was well and truly sucked in.

I was washing the cups in the dishwasher. I put three cups next to each other, and right in front of my eyes, they vanished. Gone. With a pop. Never seen again.

I was sorting my files when I lined four of them up. BINK!! Four years of documents was reduced to a single, stripy file, that dissappeared sending a large beam of energy out when I tried opening it.

But the most shocking was when I put five eggs next to each other. They morphed into one sprinkled egg. When I touched it, there was a loud explosion, and every egg in my house was gone.

My condition has haunted me ever since. I once also lost £150 when I accidentally put three £50 notes in my hand.

I also lost four of my childhood books and my entire rock collection in the same way.

But the worst incident happened last night, when I parked my red car next to two others. All three cars vanished and I was charged of car theft and sentenced to a life in prison. Maybe I can find some way to make the bars dissappear in my cell.

Steven got me into this. He sent me that request. But the good out of all of this is that I beat all 910 levels the game has to offer, whilst Steven is still stuck on Level 419.

Seriously. SCREW LEVEL 419!!!!!!

Did you enjoy my tale? I'm not much of a writer, and I am terrible at comedy writing.

PS: None of this happens in real life. No matter how much candy crush you play. Though level 419 may make you lose your mind.