User blog comment:Wildoneshelper/Candy Crush Whodunnit Episode 2/@comment-4189499-20140803113037

Two FBI agents arrive at the scene of the crime.

"What are we doing here Mulder?" asked the woman with short red hair. "This just looks like a regular murder case, not an X-file. The local authorities seem to be handling it just fine."

"There's something missing here Scully," replied the tall brown haired man. "I say none of these people did it."

"What do you mean Mulder?" the woman, Scully, responded. "They all have clear motives and the means. The victim was obviously strangled to death and then thrown in the swamp, as you can see from these injuries.  Nothing unexplainable here, and nothing paranormal."

"Have you tasted this swamp, Scully," asked the man, Mulder. "It's missing that flavour that always results from having carbon dioxide dissolved in a drink, and I've read reports from local scientists saying that the bubbles in fact have a very similar composition to that of normal air rather than the almost pure carbon dioxide expected."

"I don't see what this has to do with anything," said Scully.

"Just look at the body. That bruising doesn't seem to be in the shape of human fingers, suggesting that something else must be the murderer.  This lake; the bubbles have the same composition as that of exhaled air.  My theory is that there is some kind of creature living under the lake who snatched the creator's body as he walked past to view his level, probably with some sort of tentacles."

"Mulder, the only creature living in that lake is Mr. Snappy, a crocodile who couldn't possibly have exerted that much pressure on the skin without breaking it. As for your bubble theory, we have it on record that it was the little girl, Tiffi, who somehow blew the bubbles into the lake."

"You've seen that little girl," Mulder replied. "She may have started the bubbles, but there is no way her lung capacity is large enough to have kept this up. No, her breath must have awoken this creature, like how a quick short breath is sometimes used in CPR to clear a patient's lungs and start them breathing.  Once the first breath was administered, the creature could keep breathing itself, explaining the continued presence of the bubbles."

"There is nothing else in that lake Mulder," said Scully exasperatedly. "Someone would have seen it by now, and for your breath theory to work, it must come up to the surface sometime to breath. If it does exist, how come nobody's ever seen it before?"

"Well, maybe whenever it comes up to breath it takes any watchers along with it as food to eat later, thus explaining why nobody has seen it. It eats all bystanders." Mulder's theorising received only sceptical looks from his partner. "Look, Scully. This lake is the perfect preservative.  The acidity is just right to discourage the decay of the bodies, as can be seen by just how intact this corpse is.  Who knows how many are stored in the bottom of the lake as snacks for later?"

"If so many people had been snatched away, we would see more missing person reports in this area. As it stands, there aren't any," Scully responded.

"But don't you see? This town is built next to a major highway. The 419 creator wasn't a resident here, despite being fundamental to its architecture.  Thousands of people pass through this town every year, and if any go missing, it would be the people at either the 'from' or 'to' town in their travels which would have recorded the disappearances, laying no blame here."

"So you think a lake monster is in charge of all these people's deaths, just because of the chemical composition of its bubbles? What about all these more likely suspects?" Scully wasn't buying Mulder's theory.

"What, a little girl without the strength or height to strangle him? A rockstar passing through the town who is so obsessed with himself that he barely notices others' existence?  A couple of people who's levels seem easy in comparison to 419, and thereby benefit from his existence? A couple of wiki editors who were frustrated by him a couple of times?   I mean, a lot of my colleagues back at the bureau annoy me, but I'm not going to murder them.  Also, how many other times have my theories been proved right?"

"Ok Ok," Scully conceded. "We'll get the local PD to dredge the swamp tomorrow. But in the mean time, I still think we should continue to focus on our main suspects. While I agree that the girl and the rockstar can be eliminated from suspicion, I would like to question the rest myself."

"Seems we have a plan. See you back at the motel for dinner.  Pizza's on me."