Thread:Imamadmad/@comment-161.202.76.39-20150307171600/@comment-4189499-20150308111613

I have looked carefully over both your comments on Truffle Terrace and have come to the conclusion that you both could have handled the situation better. You both made mistakes which contributed to this misunderstanding. Let me take it one thing at a time.

161: First of all, as there seemed to be a little confusion on this front, sandbox pages are usually draft pages for policies or similar which are still in the process of being discussed and finalised. These pages are good as guides for eventual policies, but cannot yet be taken as law. I understand the confusion as a new user, so hopefully that should clear things up.

While I'm talking to you, your comments were written more provokingly than needed. For example, taking your first comment, instead of saying "Your Ratings do not make sense???? [...] Confuseddotcom ???????", it might have been more diplomatic to say "I don't understand how you came to those conclusions. How do you get from Hard to Very Easy with 1 try on both levels?". That way, you are not putting blame on the other user and it is made clear that you are only seeking clarification of how they came to the conclusions they did, as it isn't obvious from their first comment and quite frankly I agree with the asking for a further explanation. The multiple question marks can also be interpreted as putting on unneeded emphasis, and one would have been sufficient in that situation. These are all beginner's errors and I'm sure you can learn to change your style to become more diplomatic in the future.

Roseturnip: You are also at fault from overreacting. Honestly, when was the last time you had a good laugh at yourself? Why do I keep getting messages from people saying you've overreacted again? Stop taking everything so seriously and taking every bit of slight negativity as a personal offence! 161 did not say that "other's opinions are nonsense", and it was bad advice to say "If you don't like them, tell so". First of all, there was no suggestion that 161 didn't like that user, just that they wanted more information on how they came to their conclusions. Secondly, telling somebody you don't like them never helps a situation. It's hardly diplomatic. There are many people I have to deal with who I don't like, but I will never tell them that because that immediately terminates all channels of discussion and prevents any chance of reconciling later. That's just terrible advice.

Next, let's look at another idea which you presented which is just not right: "Its his opinion so respect it!" Not all opinions deserve to be respected. Many people hold the opinion that climate change isn't real, and that opinion will immediately make me lose all respect for that person because it quite simply flies in the face of all evidence. Now, we should show the people giving their opinions respect, unless that opinion is just stupid and ignorant as in the case of climate change deniers, but it is also true that not all opinions are equal, and those which are backed up by facts are always superior to those which aren't. Until the user, Spongebob789 in this case, could deliver an explanation of how he came to those conclusions, his conclusions were free to be contested, especially as they were contested using Spongebob's own evidence. Indeed, one of the beautiful things about opinions is that they can be different and that people can show conflicting opinions and use the available evidence to argue about which version is closer to the reality of the situation. Respecting people isn't the same as never opposing them in anything. I will happily challenge many of the people I respect the most, and its their responses to the challenge which which either hurts or reaffirms my respect for that person, and I will not interpret any questioning of my own actions as disrespect and I even encourage people who are confused by a decision I have made to come forward and ask me about it. Everyone needs to be able to take criticism and to be able to either argue against it with available evidence or even change their opinion to fit the new facts. 161 was right to contest both Spongebob and Xingkerui's opinions, and it was Xingkerui's reaction, to further explain his opinions based on the facts available to him, which earns him more respect, a respect which 161 gives him. Roseturnip, please learn the difference between criticism and disrespect. They are not the same thing.